The Bone Eater Sucks Marrow From Aging Sci-Fi Stars…

Hi all…

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity (sure, that’s the right word) to watch The Bone Eater on the Scifi Network. This movie “starred” Bruce Boxleitner, Walter Koenig, Gil Gerard, and William Katt.

Bone Eater Poster

This had to be one of the cheesiest looking critters in movie monster history. The Bone Eater had a couple of modes — walking and jumping — and if he wanted to really get crazy, he could ride a bony/dust cloud of a horse to catch up with frightened men on motorcycles or in trucks driving downhill really fast.

What to like? Nothing really. Except for the fact that it took me nearly all of the movie to figure out who Gil Gerard was — only to figure out that he was the old frumpy cop who pretty much didn’t do anything. Koenig is in for one scene, as is Katt. And Boxleitner does such a horrible performance at the end (as a Native American no less) that it almost made me forget Tron and his years in Babylon 5.

You can see a really detailed review at: http://www.dreadcentral.com/node/25528

Bone Eater

But it’s not really worth the effort of Tivo’ing even. The story was horrid. The acting was horrid. The SFX were laughable. And all that kept me watching to the end, like I said, was trying to figure out which old fart was Gil Gerard.

Anyway… Hope you find something else to watch on TV. This gets 1 out of 4 stars simply because it kept me watching to the end. I’m not saying that was a good thing.

Don’t waste your time unless you want to watch a bunch of old sci-fi heroes fall hard.

–Fitz

Comments

  1. Haha, great review. Bruce Boxleitner… ah well, he’ll always have B5 i suppose. Looking on the cover and the in-movie shot you realize that this is not going to be the greatest movie ever. Oh Checkov! Why!?

  2. Thanks for the comment! Yeah, I knew it was going to be a horrid movie, but there’s that rubbernecker mentality that says… nah, it can’t be THAT bad. And it was! 🙂 Last time Boxleitner and Koenig were good together was in Babylon 5!! Ack!

  3. Watching Bone Eater right now! I had to look it up on the web to see “who is who” as far as old, B-list actors. Who the hell did the make-up? It was almost as bad as the SFX. Still, my 10 year old and husband are glued to the television as I type 🙂

  4. @jsal – Yes, it’s pretty bad all the way around. You have to hope the cast and crew had fun with it, knowing it would be bad. 🙂 I have to admit it ate up a good two hours for me on the couch as well. 🙂

  5. i think that it was a good movie because the monster or bone eater had a legend to it and that it had a reason to be around. it might not had good grafics but it still had a good storyline. like some have said before that all the beaths were people turning into dust well think about this hes abone monster wouldnt it be kinda smart to age someone so fast they turn into dust. some of you might not have liked it but i did.

    mashings last blog post..Book Review: Eve of Destruction by S.J. Day

  6. you’re right about the movie being cheezy but……….you didn’t recognize gil girard as the sheriff because he wasn’t the sheriff. bruce boxleitner was. gil girard was the indian.

  7. Fitz – I am glad I am not the only one who not only caught this “movie”, but was keeping an eye for Mr. Gerard.
    It took me a moment or two to recognize him as the “Dispatcher”.

    Heck, the parts were so small, I didn’t even see William Katt!
    I guess Sci-fi is doing a good job of singlehandedly keeping actors working!!

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