This weekend I had to review a movie that I wish I hadn’t. I’ll post the review in a few days once I’ve digested it a bit, but I have to say that it was one of the most messed up films I’ve seen in quite a while. That said, I did make it to the end, but I’m not sure how. And it took multiple sittings (thank goodness for pause on the DVD player) to get through its length…
But it made me really stop to think about what makes a film truly horrible.
I’m a huge fan of “good” B-movies. Some of the ones on the SciFi channel on Saturday nights are horrible, but have some redeeming features. They’re not theater-quality, they’re definitely made for TV. Bubbahotep with Bruce Campbell is a solid B-movie meant for theaters. I loved it. Many people hated it. Such is the power of movies.
But what makes a truly horrible movie isn’t the lack of production quality or the deliberate dumbing down of subject matter or taking a look at truly absurd issues in the world (like Elvis not dead, living in a retirement home in the south)… it’s shooting for a mark and missing it so completely that you want to run away screaming.
This movie combines a Shakespearean plot with The Godfather, sprinkles in a ton of unnecessary swearing, gratuitous violence, far too much gore, some really bad dialogue and acting… and you end up with a trainwreck. I can’t tell you what this movie is yet, but I will. I promise I’ll post my review in a few days.
But unlike Bug, which I thought was a totally useless piece of celluloid… this movie managed to overdo every aspect of production. So whereas nothing actually happened in Bug, this movie had things happening for no reason. It makes Uwe Boll and Guy Ritchie‘s worst movies look like brilliant pieces of art.
So I ask this question… What for you is the unforgiveable sin when it comes to movies? What’s the thing that makes you walk out of a theater (I’ve only done it once, for The Truman Show) or turn off a DVD (done a few times)?
I want to hear from you… Please — let me know!