Uwe Boll + Computer/Arcade Game Plot = Instant Movie Classic…

A 16 mm spring-wound Bolex H16 Reflex camera, a popular introductory camera in film schoolsImage via WikipediaHi all…

Ok… Uwe, you’ve gotten a bum rap. I mean… How can people not see your genius?

You’re involved with hot, amazing actresses (Kristianna Loken and Tara Reid)… You’ve got the computer game industry loving you… And your adoring fans want to knock down your doors and smother you with kind words…

Ever since Alone in the Dark came out in 2005 and I saw Tara Reid acting as a smart scientist, I knew you had it in you to go on to great things.

Bizarro Blog-a-thon Expired

And then 2007 brought us In the Name of the King, A Dungeon Siege Tale, which was totally underrated. I mean… The way you used water in some of the cinematography just made me want to cry.

And today while researching this glowing piece, I discovered that you’re doing a movie based on Far Cry possibly due out later this year and a sequel to Alone in the Dark! Brilliant!

The movie industry and film goers everywhere owe you more than the tokens of respect they’ve been giving you so far. I think they should literally mob you and kill you with kindness for all that you’ve bestowed upon the big screen.

[sniff] That’s all I can say right now. I’m too choked up to go on.

–Fitz

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