Rock Slyde aspires to be a noir detective flick in the vein of Raymond Chandler‘s stories or the classic Steve Martin comedy Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. To say it missed the vein completely and should have been put out of its misery hits a bit closer to the truth.
I think thought Patrick Warburton could do no wrong after such great roles in TV’s Rules of Engagement and The Tick. He’s even funny when you just hear him do his voiceover roles for cartoons – as with Kronk in The Emperor’s New Groove or as the sheriff the recent reboot of Scooby-DooScooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated. Evidently not even Patrick’s brand of funny is the Midas touch.
In Rock Slyde, Warburton plays the title character – Private Detective Rock Slyde. And through the bad jokes, the juvenile sight gags, and the fictitious musical gay porno, it goes downhill from the beginning.
Also appearing in the film are Andy Dick as Bart, the founder of the cult of Bartology; Rena Sofer as femme fatale Sara Lee; Elaine Hendrix as Slyde’s secretary/assistant Judy Bee; Jason Alexander as Mailman Stan, a fan of musical gay pornos; Eric Roberts as Jake the Deliveryman; Lea Thompson as a Master Bartologist; Tom Bergeron as Randy Wonder, the owner of Wonderburger; and Brian Bosworth as “The Friendly Pirate” in the bad pirate porno…
The last time I thought Andy Dick was funny was on NewsRadio in the mid ’90s. His character Bart is a Dr. Evil (Austin Powers) wannabe. Sofer is beautiful and I’ve liked her recent roles as self-assured, powerful women on NCIS and Bones, but her role as a lonely damsel in distress didn’t work. And it’s bad when Tom Bergeron, host of America’s Funniest Home Videos has one of the funnier scenes as a Bartologist firing one of his workers at the burger joint simply because the all mighty Bart tells him to.
It’s not as if there isn’t any talent here. But I’m always amazed when a great cast can’t save a movie. It’s happened before, I know. Not every film can be great. Some can’t even be mediocre. But Rock Slyde proves that actors can’t save a script that simply isn’t funny.
In addition to the movie itself, there’s also a “Behind the Scenes” feature that isn’t much more than numerous clips literally shot behind the scenes of the actors and crew as they filmed the movie. There are a few amusing moments, but nothing that really saves the film.
Ultimately, this movie was a waste of time. Unless you’re into fictitious musical gay pornography, I’d skip Rock Slyde all together. Though I still think Warburton has an amazing gift for comedy, he couldn’t save this movie from itself.
This article first appeared at BlogCritics.org here.
–Fitz
p.s. If you really want to see this film, there’s a link below, but I’d recommend checking out some of Warburton’s other work instead.
It’s no secret that I’m a huge fan of Simon Pegg & Nick Frost – Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz have to be two of my favorite comedies of the last decade. So when I saw this video of the duo chatting about their time spent working with the legendary Steven Spielberg on Tintin, I LMAO.
It’s been a long time since I watched a movie where every time I thought the action had peaked, it managed to one-up itself again. How director Kim Ji-woon managed to hold The Good, The Bad, The Weird together is beyond me. Somehow he blended spaghetti Westerns, classic war movies, chase scenes, horses, explosions, and some Quentin Tarantino attitude into a story that survives mostly intact from beginning to end.
At its core, The Good, The Bad, The Weird is about three men and a map. 1930s Manchuria in Ji-woon’s view is quite reminiscent of the Wild West of the late 1800s. Outlaws, natives, and armies are all fighting for land and resources to call their own. A treasure map is being sold to the Japanese, only to be stolen back after the transaction takes place on a train… Unfortunately, the train is being robbed by “The Weird” – Yoon Tae-goo (Kang-ho Song, The Host, The Thirst).
When Tae-goo robs the train, he stumbles into the car with the Japanese banker and robs them at gunpoint. As this is happening, “The Bad” – Park Chang-yi (Byung-hun Lee, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra) and his gang are stopping the train and getting everyone off so they can get the map themselves. Unfortunately, the sudden stop causes Tae-goo to kill everyone he is robbing. While he’s trying to escape the train with his newfound wealth, “The Good” – bounty hunter Park Do-won (Woo-sung Jung) and Chang-yi get into a gun battle.
The rest of the film is one long chase sequence. Tae-goo is chased and caught by Do-won and the two of them are chased by Chang-yi. Though Do-won initially only wants to bring in the other two criminals, eventually he starts to be enchanted by the idea of buried treasure. Ultimately it comes down to a showdown in the desert near the treasure. Who will win?
As I said in the beginning, the whole movie is a series of scenes “one-upping” each other. We go from trains and motorcycles to horses, Jeeps, and artillery. Near the finale, there is an amazing scene where you see an entire field of men on horseback chasing Tae-goo on a motorcycle. Of course, that’s right before the Japanese army starts launching explosives into the fray…
Is this a perfect movie? Not really. Was it fun? Heck yes!
Though I found at least one continuity issue where Tae-goo leaves a brothel in the desert with a group of rescued kids all together on his motorcycle in one scene and then a couple of scenes later the kids are gone and Tae-goo is alone… It didn’t really detract from the frenetic action of the 130 minute film.
The Good, The Bad, The Weird wants to be a Western, but its Asian roots are what makes this movie work. Sure there are horses, train robberies, and lots of gun battles – but the presentation, stunts, and wire work are definitely from the world of martial arts movies.
Beyond that, it’s non-stop action from the train robbery to the gunfight at the end and the subtitles never got in the way for me. I absolutely love Kang-ho Song. He has an amazing gift for portraying both the hapless hero and the knowing villain. Playing the simpleminded father in The Host trying to save his daughter, there was an “everyman” quality that really appealed to me. His portrayal of Tae-goo as a gleeful bandit seeking enough money to retire to a simple farmer’s life has that same quality.
There are several extras on the DVD, including some highlight reels, interviews, and behind-the-scenes footage. Of all the extras, it’s the “Making Of” features #1 and #2 that were the most fun. The chaos involved with the production was absolutely massive. How they could keep on track, filming on location in a Chinese desert with all the horses, people, and explosions is beyond me.
The Good, The Bad, The Weird was quite popular at several of the major film festivals around the world. It debuted (partially unfinished) at Cannes, was an official selection at the Telluride Film Festival, an audience award winner at Fantastic Fest, and won Best Director and Best Visual Effects at the Sitges International Film Festival … It’s also managed to make more than $44 million worldwide since its release in April 2010. Not bad for one of the most expensive films (with a budget of about $10 million according to Box Office Mojo) ever made in South Korea.
If you don’t mind subtitles and you’re looking for something fun, Asian, and Western, I’d heartily recommend that you check out The Good, The Bad, The Weird. It’s a ton of fun!
This review first appeared at BlogCritics.org here.
Yes, I know that there are people who on principle skip anything Jerry Bruckheimer produces. And yes, I know that there are those people who try to miss anything Nicolas Cage appears in because they simply don’t like him. And there are probably a third group who believe that Fantasia is sacrosanct and must not ever be touched again by human hands… But I’m evidently not one of those.
I’ll admit that I was skeptical that it could be done. Who could possibly write a script for a two hour film that’s based on the short animated feature as part of 1940′s Fantasia from Walt Disney? How could you take Mickey Mouse and the dancing mops, brooms, and buckets and modernize it for today’s audiences?
Well, I think they actually managed to pull it off. We went as a family and all of us really enjoyed The Sorcerer’s Apprentice with Cage, Jay Baruchel, and Alfred Molina playing the lead roles. Hopefully it will make more money than it has so far so that we can continue to see the adventures of “Dave the Sorcerer”.
What is it about? It starts in medieval times with the saga of Merlin (James A. Stephens) and his three apprentices – Veronica (Monica Bellucci), Balthazar (Cage), and Horvath (Molina). When Horvath turns on his friends and master to join the evil wizardess Morgana (Alice Krige) in an attempt to take over the world and killing Merlin – Veronica sacrifices herself and binds Morgana’s soul within herself, and Balthazar captures them both in a Russian Doll magic item. That starts a war between the Merlinians, with Balthazar at the lead, and the Morganians seeking to free Morgana to take over the world.
Balthazar spends the next thousand years trying to find what Merlin called “the Prime Merlinian” – an individual with the potential to take Merlin’s place in the world. Along the way, he captures other evil wizards in the doll as they continue to try to release their queen.
When young Dave stumbles into Balthazar’s magic shop while on a field trip, it’s revealed that he is the Prime Merlinian Balthazar’s been looking for all this time… But through a series of mishaps, Dave unwittingly releases Horvath and a battle ensues that eventually finds the two ancient enemies locked away for 10 years. That gives Dave some time to get some therapy for what nobody believes he saw.
And that brings us to the present day, with Dave having become a physics geek working with electricity and plasma. I won’t spoil the rest, but suffice it to say that it’s a wild ride where Balthazar and Dave must work together to try and save the world from Horvath and Morgana.
Before I saw the film, I read a few reviews chastising the exposition at the beginning that sets the stage for the transition to the modern day. As such, I was a bit concerned. Turned out that I need not have been. Though director Jon Turteltaub might have chosen to “show, not tell” that section of the story, I think it would have added another 30+ minutes to the already two hour long film. As such, to keep it short enough to play frequently at most movie theaters I think it was a good choice to avoid the lengthier storytelling option.
It was obvious that Cage and Baruchel had a good time working together. The relationship between Balthazar and Dave seems genuine and the Master/Apprentice ties that bind them together lead to some touching moments. Molina simply ate up the screen as Horvath and cut a dashing figure in what looked like a late 18th century/early 19th century suit, hat, and cane. Even Teresa Palmer as Dave’s eventual girlfriend Becky played the “fish out of water” character well, even going so far as to play a pivotal role in the climax.
The only character I didn’t like was Toby Kebbel’s magician Drake Stone, the evil wizard who helps Horvath set Morgana free. Stone played a Criss Angel-type stage magician who was in it more for stroking his ego than for any perfection of his art. But I think we were supposed to dislike the slimy character – so if that was the case then bravo to Kebbel’s acting chops.
The special effects were spectacular. From the dragon in Chinatown to the car chases on the flip side of a mirror, the effects seamlessly transported me into a world where magic exists. I found myself watching, wide-eyed and enjoying every minute in that world – wishing there was a bit more magic day to day in our own.
If you don’t like Bruckheimer, Nick Cage, or the idea that a Mickey Mouse cartoon could be made into a big budget live action adventure movie, I’d recommend that you stay home. But I’m certainly glad I went to see it.
This article first appeared at BlogCritics.org here.
Ok, I like Sir Anthony Hopkins. I do. Really. But this latest image from the Thor movie revealed by the Los Angeles Times leaves me more than a little skeptical.
Yes, I know this picture is probably staged for Comic-Con, but dang… it takes the wind out of my sails. I was much happier with this earlier image I saw:
So I guess we’ll find out what the actual movie looks like, directed by Kenneth Branagh, when it’s released May 6, 2011.
Also in the news is that Thor and Captain America will both be in 3D. Why? Why does everything have to be in 3D now? [Sigh]
Before I tear this movie down a bit, I want to clear the air. Everyone at my house is a big fan of the Avatar: The Last Airbender animated series that aired on NickToons. The combination of philosophy, growth, humor, and adventure made it a favorite of ours. So when I heard that M. Night Shyamalan was going to be making it into a live action film, I started to get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Evidently I should have listened to the reviews and my gut because The Last Airbender simply wasn’t as good as it should have been. When you start with an amazing story and end up with something lackluster, something’s wrong. And yet, somehow, it’s already made almost $80 million dollars at the box office according to Box Office Mojo. Will it make back its $150 million budget? Probably… Should we let M. Night do a sequel? Um, no.
The Last Airbender is the story of Aang (Noah Ringer) – the last of the Air Nomads lost in the ice for 100 years – and his journey to save his world from a war that started while he was frozen. When Aang is discovered by Katara (Nicola Peltz) and Sokka (Jackson Rathbone), they head out into the world to give the people hope for a future and a way out of the ongoing war.
The world has a few individuals born with the power to control a particular element – fire, earth, water, or air. These people are called “Benders”. Each Bender uses martial arts and willpower to direct an element to do their bidding. And Aang is unique as the last Avatar – an individual capable of “bending” water, earth, fire, and water as well as interacting with the Spirit world.
The Fire Nation, led by Fire Lord Ozai (Cliff Curtis), seeks to banish the old peaceful ways of the Nations working together and embrace an industrial world by enslaving or destroying the other nations and forcing his vision of the future upon them. His son, Prince Zuko (Dev Patel), seeks to regain the honor lost as a child. If he could find the Avatar and return him to his father, his honor would be restored…
So as Aang comes to grips with the changes while he was gone and his being the Avatar, he’s being chased by the Fire Nation at every turn. Eventually Aang, Katara, and Sokka find their way to the Northern Water Tribe so that Aang can learn how to waterbend.
I’m not going to go into great detail about the original series, but instead will focus on a few key items that led me to not enjoy this film as much as I would have liked.
First, there’s the last minute decision to go 3D. This is a hot button for me. If you’re using 3D – USE 3D! I don’t remember a single 3D effect from the film. I remember them from the trailers before the film though… so why did I blow the extra $$ per ticket?
Second, Uncle Iroh in the series is a larger than life character with a great deal of humor. Shaun Toub, though a fine actor I’m sure, didn’t fit the role at all for me. Iroh should be round and jolly and Toub’s version is tall, skinny, and serious though polite.
Third, and last for me… If you’re going to reinvent a property, whether it comes from a book, TV series, or earlier film, you have to DO something with it. What do I mean by that? It can’t simply be a rehash of the earlier work.
For some reason, the script for The Last Airbender felt like they compressed a season of the cartoon into a stack of paper, stripped the humor and humanity out of it, and regurgitated it on the screen. You can have the most amazing actors ever and still have a horrible movie if the script stinks (not saying that’s the case here, but it mitigated my dislike for the quality of acting in the movie a bit).
You really need to rethink the original property and present it in a new, interesting way so that it’s faithful to the source material and yet has something unique to offer in addition. The Last Airbender managed to be boring for me because I already knew what was going to happen. You can put as many great special effects into a film as you want, but they won’t save it if the movie doesn’t connect with audiences.
One brief note about the effects. I thought the effects used for “bending” water, fire, earth, and air were VERY cool. The flying lemur was either underused or simply uninteresting, I couldn’t tell which. And the flying buffalo really only had one interesting scene in the whole film and it was in the first 10 minutes when its tail trapped Sokka (Jackson Rathbone) on the ice.
I still contend that the soundtrack was awesome from James Newton Howard (reviewed here). But it got buried in the film by the lack of anything interesting happening on screen.
So I walked out underwhelmed and really wanting to watch all of the episodes of the cartoon series again. That never bodes well for a movie based on an existing property. Sorry M. Night, but your string of boring movies remains intact.
If you have a couple of hours to kill and your kids are clamoring to see it, by all means take them. But The Last Airbender may just provide you the opportunity for a two hour nap.
This article first appeared on BlogCritics.org here. It deserves to be said that this movie seems to have created quite a rift between “haters” and “likers” and some of the comments on the original article are quite interesting if you’re interested.
I don’t know if you’ve been following the news about the upcoming Conan reboot, but I have. Jason Momoa, seen over the last few years on Stargate Atlantis, is starring as Conan, taking Arnie’s place. And I have to say, from the stills I’ve seen, I’m impressed…
Be sure to check out the Conan Movie Blog for more great details and pictures that have been found so far. They seem to have awesome connections for details and images.
What do you guys think? I was originally a bit concerned with the casting simply because the original movies are among my guilty pleasures and Arnie is a tough act to follow (though acting wasn’t really his strong suit at the time, he captured the “barbarian” pretty well on screen IMHO). We loved Momoa in Stargate Atlantis and are definitely jazzed that it’s looking like it could be a good film!
James Newton Howard has always been a bit of a mixed bag for me as far as soundtracks go. There are always some amazing pieces within the whole of one of his movie scores, but I think his soundtrack to The Last Airbender may be my favorite of his so far.
Like a painter, the film score composer has many tools at his or her disposal. Broad strokes done with horns have a different effect than a quiet flute solo and the power of a single violin has a much different effect than the entire string section of an orchestra. And bringing in heavy, percussive drums and cymbals has yet another completely different effect.
It is also the job of any good movie soundtrack to not only enhance the action on screen, but also provide auditory clues to the audience. For example, each time you hear “The Imperial March” in a Star Wars soundtrack from John Williams, you know that Darth Vader is near. But more than that, the music should evoke an emotional response from the audience.
Within the soundtrack to The Last Airbender, I hear bits that make me think of Williams’ work, Basil Poledouris’ work on the Conanmovie soundtracks, as well as classical influences from the East and a bit of a Russian feel. The composition as a whole provides many layers that evokes in me a lot of hope for this movie.
The industrial power of the Fire Nation seeks to convince the rest of the world that their way is best and the old ways must give way to the new. The other nations have their own ideas however. The peaceful Air Nation has been destroyed, the Earth Nation has become isolationist, and the Northern and Southern Water Nation tribes are isolated by virtue of location. Where they all once worked together, now the world is full of distrust and a version of the “Might is Right” line of thinking.
The opening “Airbender Suite” provides a taste of the musical themes that persist throughout the soundtrack. The breathy flute gives way to the cresting waves of strings and horns as we prepare to see the story of a world in the midst of a clash of philosophies. All twelve tracks of the soundtrack utilize the full extent of the highs and lows of an amazing orchestra.
Newton has given each tribe a different feel – from the powerful militant drums of the Fire Nation to the light and airy Air Nation flutes. Each tries to capture one of the four elements of Air, Earth, Fire, or Water in terms of a group of instruments, chords, or melody. Immediately I was caught up in the ebb and flow of these inspired orchestrations.
Of the soundtracks I’ve heard so far this summer, The Last Airbender by Howard has to be my favorite. The mix of instruments and styles from around the globe lends itself to some very unique compositions such as “The Four Elements Test,” which takes distinctly Eastern flutes and bells and combines them with the drums, horns, and strings of more Western traditions. Out of the 12 tracks on the soundtrack, this one is my favorite as it builds and builds to its conclusion.
“The Blue Spirit” is my other favorite, as it managed to surprise me with its use of silence to punctuate eerie crescendos and crashing waves of strings and drums. It reminded me of some of my other favorite soundtracks such as Raiders of the Lost Ark by Williams and Gladiator by Hans Zimmer as it progressed from light and soft to a powerful mix of horns and strings worthy of a great climax in the film.
Howard has received eight Oscar nominations so far in his career, including six Best Original Score nods for Defiance, Michael Clayton, The Village, The Prince of Tides, and My Best Friend’s Wedding. Personally I think that The Last Airbender is the best work to date I’ve heard from him and would expect this score to also receive award nominations.
As a fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender, the animated series on Nicktoons that M. Night Shyamalan‘s movie is based on, I have to admit some worry about how it would translate to the screen. If Howard’s film score is any indication of the movie quality, I have gained some newfound hope for the entire experience. We’ll see if the film lives up to the promise of the soundtrack on July 2, 2010! Check out The Last Airbender soundtrack when it’s released on June 29, 2010.
What is life? At its most basic level, it is a state of being alive at a cellular level or greater. And yet, we live on a world teeming with life in such abundance and diversity of form that it is so much more than that. Ultimately, I think that is what the most recent production from the BBC’s Natural History Unit is about.
Life was four years in the making from the producers of Planet Earth and The Blue Planet and takes us on another amazing journey around the world capturing on film the dazzling diversity of life we are blessed with on Earth. As with their previous productions, these filmmakers have provided us with the shock and awe of the natural world and shown us things we may never see otherwise.
Characterized by shots in real time and slow motion, we get to see creatures, alone and in groups, doing what they do best – surviving and perpetuating their species. From the tale of the gobie fish in Hawaii climbing waterfalls to spawn in perfect pools at the top of rocky cliffs and flying fish to the cycle of hunter and hunted played out in countless environments each day we are presented with crystal clear imagery that mesmerizes with almost every frame.
Originally broadcast at the end of 2009, the ten episodes of Life each focus on a unique aspect of living organisms on Earth.
The series starts with the “Challenges of Life” where the filmmakers present examples of how plants, animals, and insects manage to find enough food to eat and find ways to reproduce to ensure the continuation of their kind. Amazing footage of what a small mother strawberry poison dart frog does to keep her tadpoles safe in the rainforest canopy and the Pacific giant octopus sacrificing herself so that her children may survive show the lengths to which some creatures will go to protect and care for their young.
Life then walks through an episode for each major group of creatures on the planet – “Reptiles and Amphibians,” “Mammals,” “Fish,” “Birds,” and “Insects.” Each episode shows the cycles inherent in all living things – from the groupers spreading fertilized eggs in clouds beneath the waves that get eaten by predators to the damselfly’s chance to lay eggs interrupted by a leaping frog. Opportunities abound for all creatures in the food chain to do their part to survive.
The series then shifts to “Creatures of the Deep,” where photographers managed to show a seal carcass beneath the Antarctic ice provides food for urchins, sea stars, and nemertean worms proving that creatures big and small will find ways to eat and reproduce even in the harshest conditions. The amazing footage of hundreds of thousands of spider crabs moulting in the shallows off South Australia was amazingly bizarre, yet memorable.
In “Plants” we see the other side of the equation, from the forest floor to the canopy, the ocean floor to the desert – flora has also found ways to adapt and thrive in inhospitable places. The exposed roots of the Epiphytes in the rain forest canopy trapping water and leaves for nutrients provide a stark contrast to the Bristlecone pine trees that can live up to 5,000 years with a six-week growing season above 9800 feet.
And lastly, the series focuses on the “Primates” – our distant cousins on the evolutionary chart. These intelligent, social creatures – from baboons and macaques using troop dynamics and bloodlines to determine the outcome of disputes to the White-faced capuchins using rocks to break open clams for dinner. It’s impossible not to see similarities to the human condition that we experience every day.
Though we weren’t able to catch each episode as it aired in the Discovery Channel, we were excited to see the series become available on DVD recently. It’s another amazing achievement for the BBC Natural History Unit and their dedicated, amazing photography teams scattered around the globe.
Each episode on the DVD was accompanied by a “Life on Location” special feature, which documented some of the challenges the film crews faced while trying to get footage for the production. Though short, each provided a glimpse into the commitment necessary to become a world-class nature photographer.
My one complaint with the series is that they chose Oprah Winfrey to do the narration this time. Though Oprah is a force to be reckoned with in her own right and the scripts were well written, her voice has an interesting tendency to put me to sleep. The visuals were stunning and I wanted to hear the stories, but found her narration monotone enough to make it difficult to watch.
And as if they wanted to rub in how boring Oprah’s narration was, they had David Attenborough narrate the extras for each episode that describe the challenges faced by the crews sent out to get the footage. Though nearing retirement, Attenborough’s voice seemed infused with energy and life compared to listening to Oprah.
Though tempted to use the “Music Only” viewing option, we managed to get through Oprah’s droning and enjoy the entire series at my house. Hopefully they will find better narrators in the future. Jim Carrey would be a good choice (he recently narrated Under the Sea for IMAX) and James Earl Jones would also be great.
Don’t let Oprah stop you from enjoying Life on DVD. It’s another amazing documentary series from the BBC that you won’t want to miss. Hopefully they’ll have a better narrator for the upcoming Frozen Planet series to air in 2012 on the Discovery Channel!
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I think thought Patrick Warburton could do no wrong after such great roles in TV’s Rules of Engagement and The Tick. He’s even funny when you just hear him do his voiceover roles for cartoons – as with Kronk in The Emperor’s New Groove or as the sheriff the recent reboot of Scooby-Doo Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated. Evidently not even Patrick’s brand of funny is the Midas touch.
