Hitman misses the mark by a longshot…

Hitman logoImage via Wikipedia

Hey all…

I recently had the opportunity to watch Hitman on DVD, as it just came out recently. I knew it was a train wreck from all the horrid reviews that had come out when it was in the theater, but like a rubber necker on the highway passing a horrific accident, I just had to look for myself…

And yeah, it was pretty bad.

[rating:1/4]

Here‘s the IMDB link.

I mean, I like Tim Olyphant, who played the title character (Agent 47), but even he and the smokin’ hot Olga Kurlyenko (she’s also a new Bond girl in the Quantum of Solace coming out later this year) couldn’t save this flick!

Olga Kurylenko in Hitman

What gets me is that there is so much more backstory than you ever really get in this movie. They could’ve gone a totally different way. Instead, we’re left holding the bag wondering who the hell this guy is and why the heck he’s doing what he’s doing. You get bits and pieces of his history during the opening titles, but that’s really it!

The backstory includes a Dark Angel-style organization where people are raised to be monkish assassins for a shadowy group. Are they religious? Are they government-sponsored? Who knows. Agent 47 gets paid for his missions and goes out a lot (one cop says he’s been associated with over 100 kills). And you get to see quite a number of other bar-coded monk assassins young and old as the movie progresses. But they never do more than just show ’em to you. They hint at the backstory but that’s it. I hate it when they do that!

There’s some nudity in this movie, plus torture and drug use. But other than enjoying Olga’s beautiful body, that was about all I got out of it.

The plot is disjointed. The story is barely there. And the characters aren’t characters at all — they are caricatures — 1 dimensional people with absolutely no raison d’etre. It’s no wonder this movie blew chunks at the box office.

What to like? Olga was smokin’. Can’t wait to see her in the new Bond flick.

What not to like? The fact that they butchered a chance to give this world depth.

Should you watch this movie? Only if you have 100 minutes to kill. Fast forward through all the parts without Olga.

This one gets 1 out of 4. And that’s just for Olga. 🙂

See you at the movies!

–Fitz

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